Alex Higgins

A 2 minute read

The last time I was in Stratford Snooker Club, I beat Alex Higgins.

That used to be my opening line to this particular anecdote, back when Alex Higgins was well known for being one of the best snooker players in the world. When I was in my late teens and early twenties I was quite a handy pool player. Not professional level handy, but handy enough to play for good pub teams and to hustle a few quid out of strangers who thought they could handle a pool cue. I was never that keen on snooker, but I did play a few frames now and then if one of my mates asked me. I still have a membership card for Edgware Snooker Club from 1991. I wonder if it’s still valid? I played a complete stranger there while very drunk and buzzing on cocaine, and won the fancy cue that is still in the case I opened just now, to check what year that membership card was from.

Anyway, back to Stratford Snooker Club. I don’t know if this is still a thing but back then famous snooker players would do exhibition tours around the country. I’m guessing that was a good way to supplement their tournament winnings which were probably a lot less than they are now. They’d show off a few trick shots, deliver some well rehearsed patter to the adoring crowd, shake a few hands, and sign a few books and cues. That sort of thing.

Sometimes, they’d play members of the public who thought they were good. And when I say they’d play members of the public, I mean a dozen at a time. It was amazing to see, and it worked best with really fast players like Alex ‘Hurricane’ Higgins or Jimmy ‘Whirlwind’ White. Alex simply strode from table to table, playing shot after shot, seemingly without any thought or weighing up of the table, and absolutely annihilated every last opponent.

Except me.

Okay, I can’t draw this out any longer. Time for the punchline. I was sitting on a bar stool playing the Asteroids video game, when Alex Higgins came over and said “Can I have the next game mate? I haven’t got long before the next speed round, so can I take your next go like?”

So I told him no, but I’ll throw this game away and give him a two player game if he likes. Winner buys the beers. “Ay, go on then” he said in his quiet, high voice, so I moved the stool out of the way and we played a game of Asteroids against each other. I won, he frowned, then he stuffed a five pound note into my hand and rushed off back to the tables with his cue in his hand. I think lager was about 70p a pint back then and a packet of fags about £2, so I was unsure if this fiver was my winnings, or I was supposed to buy him a pint and twenty Players with it. He seemed a bit busy though, so I just put it in my pocket and pressed Play.

Like I said, the last time I was in Stratford Snooker Club, I beat Alex Higgins.